Capability to Love
by YDB
Summary: Revised:A married that is on the verge of divorce, this is the story of what a man is willing to go through to prove to himself and the one he loves that he can and is willing to change that he won't give her up with out a strong fight to keep her in his
1. Prologue

Hello my faithful readers and friends. The story has been revised and is now Grade A quality. If you read it again you'll notice the difference. The vocabulary et, if you choose not to re-read that's just dandy cause I got a new chapter and you can just jump to that. ENJOY.

Summary:

If you're already in love or seeking love … It's not hard to let yourself fall into its all consuming fire.

The difficult part is our capability to express and trust and seek love's timeless wisdom … This is what makes and breaks the fragile strings that bind people together.

This is the story of Darien McKinnon and his wife Serena Lewis. What is he to do when his marriage is falling apart and it's entirely his fault? This story highlights the quest Darien has set for himself after he realizes just how much he truly loves Serena as he strives to prove this to her and save their marriage. Darien has a lot of work to do and changes to make to win her back. He's prepared to go to any lengths to prove this and make her happy.

Darien discovers loving is the easy part, expressing it another matter altogether. After everything they've been through … can he succeed in winning her heart?

Prologue

I guess you could say; if there's one thing I'm not, it's incapable of loving somebody. As a matter of fact, quite the contrary. I feel love well enough, but my major problem is my incapability to adequately express my feelings for the one person who matters most in my life. To put it bluntly; I don't know how to convey my feelings for her.

My name is Darien McKinnon. I'm thirty one years of age and married to the most beautiful woman in the world, at least in my world. Alas, my lovely wife Serena has decided she wants a trial separation. Before I continue my story; I want to get this off my chest ... What the hell is a trial separation anyway? Either she wants to stay with me, or she doesn't. How can you put your life on trial like that? It's as if we were engaging in a theatrical farce and playing our marriage as if on stage. It's like trial parenthood. You're free to try it for seven days, and then if you want out, you simply take advantage of the cooling off period if you lose interest. You don't have to worry about the responsibility attached to keeping and caring for the child. No, of course not and why would you when you can hand it to somebody else, because you find it difficult to handle. It was only a trial, right?

Well to get to the point; she wants her trial separation in order to decide if living without me would make her happier. I hadn't considered the possibility that someone who claimed to love you would rip out your heart and walk away until she uttered those simple words that shattered my life. I had considered that perhaps there was something seriously wrong with my health, such as a problem with my heart. I was so close to seeing a god-damn doctor to get a prescription for a powerful sedative as the pain was so unbearable.

Just the thought can still make me shudder as memories of those sharp painful spasms were all too real. Unlike Serena, I never doubted my love for her, not for one moment. I was perfectly content waking up to see her sweet face every morning and before closing my eyes each night.

I loved her with all my heart. I was very afraid. Yes, I was afraid. Come on, who wouldn't be when your wife decides she wants a temporary hiatus, for such things could lead to divorce, and divorce meant failure. Essentially, Serena was telling me I'd failed her somehow, but I was clueless. Okay, maybe I'm not as ignorant as I would have you believe. Perhaps I saw it coming; I know you're probably wondering what really happened the night she told me she needed time out from our marriage.

I will go back to the point where it all started. I'll never forget the day I first set eyes on the sweet and lively Serena, and the way she stole my heart. I always laugh whenever I look back as these were the happiest days of my existence. The sad truth is; I know she treasures them as much as I despite our so-called, 'trial separation.'


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: How we met**

The weekend had arrived once again, and as usual I casually headed in the direction of my best friend Andrew's house. I would often pay him an impromptu visit whenever I had nothing else better to do with my spare time. Andrew was the kind of guy who would always come up with something interesting for us to occupy our time. We would always enjoy playing a healthy round of basketball, our favorite pastime. I was fifteen at the time, as too was Andrew.

When I finally reached his front gate; I took in the scene before me. Andrew stood on the veranda talking to a girl, for that matter, a very young girl. I suddenly grew curious as to who this mysterious child might be. In all my time I had been friends with Andrew, never once had I seen her before.

"Hey Andrew," I yelled catching the familiar raised eyebrow that seemed to be his signature pose.

I quickened my pace as I walked towards them both climbing the three stone steps in two easy strides; I pride myself for being quite tall for my age. I smiled as they turned to face me. Andrew's customary beaming smile greeted me while the little girl just gaped at me with curious eyes. I had to admit I too also felt the same curiosity about her.

"Who's she?" I asked casually leaning against a veranda wall sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans waiting for an explanation.

I noticed a light blush grace her cheeks as she grew a little timid in my presence. I couldn't help but smile at her shyness towards me presence. I was amazed by her dazzling blue eyes. She looked absolutely adorable with her cheeks tinted in that cute crimson shade.

"She's my new next door neighbor, Serena Lewis," he said smiling at the blushing girl. "Yeah, but I gotta admit, she's a cute kid." Andrew added earning himself a playful slap on the arm from young Serena.

"I'm not a kid, Andrew!" She protested pouting while playfully slapping his arm once more feigning anger as those amazing azure-blue eyes glistened like jeweled orbs.

"How old are you again Sere?" he asked as if he was prompting an actress to remember her lines.

"Ten…" she said emphatically rising to her full height, what little of it there was for a little girl to claim.

"I rest my case." Andrew retorted as he laughing at her playfully.

I stood there staring incredulously at him and to my chagrin I felt envious of my best friend. I was never one to display my emotions freely, not even when I was a child.

"How about we all play together?" Serena proposed with genuine enthusiasm.

"Look shrimp, I came here to see Andrew, not 'play' with some little girl." I said a little too harshly than I intended. Serena glared at me; her cheeks now flushed with anger.

"Well, that's just too bad for you then, cause' he was talking to me first!" She spat like a disgruntled kitten taking Andrew's hand in her own proving she wasn't about to let him go with out a fight.

"Why don't you beat it kid? … Andrew and I have more important things to do other than to entertain some little girl!" I countered feeling my annoyance rise rapidly within me.

"We do?" Andrew inquired bemusedly.

"Of course we do." I said in an agitated tone.

"Well, that's just too bad for you isn't it, he's already agreed to play with me first!" Serena said triumphantly staring at me defiantly, and then back at Andrew as if he were some sort of hero. She looked up at Andrew with expectant eyes. I could tell she was used to getting whatever she wanted with those amazing eyes. I had to concede that even I almost relented to those magnetic baby-blues, almost. "Andrew… didn't you promise to play a game with me?" she asked fixing Andrew with her best enchanting smile.

"Well, he's not going to play with you runt … He's playing ball with me, okay?" I barked.

"No he's not!" she fired back with a scowl.

"Yes he is." I retorted. Yes, this argument was a little childish, but I couldn't help myself. I have pride you know so I couldn't just let this go.

"No he's not!" I threw back.

"Yes he is!" she said clenching those little fists that almost made me laugh at how cute she looked.

"How about we just cut a deal?" Andrew interrupted lifting his hands in a gesture of placation clearly feeling uncomfortable with the situation.

"Say how about I and my buddy, Darien over here play ball for a while, and you can be our cheerleader! … After that we can all play cards or something, how about that, Sere?" he said relieved to have come up with some sort of plan.

We stared at him indecorously and after a minute or so that seemed to last an eternity before we reluctantly accepted his suggestion. She had openly cheered for Andrew during the entire game; I made sure I won just to spite her and this won me another pout and though she was annoyed with me I enjoyed her cute angry little face turning red while her eyes shone like sapphires.

six years later

The next time Serena Lewis and I met was after my twenty-first birthday. At the tender age of sixteen, to me she was merely a gangly teenager on a collision course with her hormones. I on the other hand was studying hard in college doing my major in accounting… yes, I said accounting … what did you expect? … Did you think it would be something fancy, say like law, or pre-med? I'm sorry if I disappoint your outrageous fantasies about me … do you think me some kind of knight in shining armor, perhaps a surgeon? Maybe you think my talents lie in something like a career as a tough sexy lawyer, sorry to disappoint! Alas, I am but a simple accountant and a very good one at that. Now back to my story.

On that very day; Andrew had invited me to check out where he worked. He had been employed as a waiter at some new diner that conveniently just happened to be connected to an arcade. I had some spare time on my hands, and what better way to kill some time than to accept his invitation and indulge myself with the simple pleasures of a cup of freshly made coffee.

I walked along the sidewalk just minding my own business lost in my peaceful thoughts when out of nowhere; I was struck by a blur of golden lightning. Before I knew it, I lay flat on my back with something, excuse me, rather someone on top of me. A certain someone blushed profusely as she climbed unsteadily to her feet mumbling an apology. I didn't exactly care for such conventions as was common place when somebody knocks you off your feet before you know what hit you. I was prepared to righteously chastise my unwitting assailant. At least that was until I caught a glimpse of her hypnotic face. I almost lost myself within the depths of her expansive sapphire-blue orbs that had fixed themselves intently upon mine.

Meanwhile, my own penetrating dark orbs shamelessly slid down her curvaceous body. I drank in the sight of her low cut tight-fitting black tank-top that hugged her full breasts just a little too well. If that wasn't enough, my eyes seemingly of their own accord drifted down her statuesque form towards her grey plaid mini skirt that accentuated her rounded hips and showed off her lush legs to perfection. My greedy eyes lingered for a few seconds longer than necessary before I reluctantly dragged them back to her stunning eyes … her skin looked so supple, touchable, and oh god I wanted to touch her, but held back. I opened my mouth to speak struggling to say something, anything would do, but no words came out. My jaw seemed ready to drop off I was sure, for I felt my cheeks burn and felt extremely uncomfortable due to the awkwardness of our situation.

She giggled lightly; she found my reaction towards her quite amusing. However, I felt the embarrassment was all I could bare and clamped my mouth shut. It wasn't too long before a surge of hot fury replaced my sense of discomfort. I convinced myself it was she who had been at fault for clumsily running into me in the first place. It was extremely rude of her to laugh at my expense. She made a fool of me, before we had a chance to introduce ourselves.

Suddenly, regaining my composure to reprimand this … 'klutzy woman,' I scowled.

"What nerve you have little girl; first you knock me to the ground, which I might add hurt a lot, and now you're laughing at me. Kids these days so god-damn disrespectful," I blurted belligerently.

"Hey! I didn't run into you on purpose … it was an accident, and I've already said earlier that I was sorry, but you were too busy checking out my boobs to notice … Shit, old people these days … So god-damn perverted." She countered folding her arms under her breasts almost causing me to forget why I was angry with her in the first place. Damn these woman and their useful tools of distraction.

"I resent that! I'm not old!" I replied while climbing to my feet dusting myself off attempting unsuccessfully to recover my dignity.

"And I'm no kid!" she said curling her small hands into fists.

"I'm not a pervert either!" I defended tilting my jaw defiantly upwards.

"And I'm not disrespectful!" She retorted.

"My god, you're insufferable," I snapped back.

In that moment, part of me just wanted to turn my back while I still could. Simply leave her standing there and end this petty argument. But another part of me demanded I stay and continue the petty skirmish, sad to say it was the most exciting thing that had happened to me in months.

"Well no one asked you to tolerate me," she replied folding her arms across her chest, sizing me up with a look of distaste etched on her soft features. "Anyways, you really should lighten up, like I said, it was an accident." She continued.

"Whatever it was, it was an inconvenience." I said unable to stop myself. I didn't take her sarcasm all that well.

"Oh my god, I didn't realize!" she said in a blistering tone. "Please don't allow a large inconvenience like me to hold you up." She said sharpening her words like icy spears and hurling them as hard as she could.

"Thank you, I will take you up on that." I retorted rather smugly as I calmly walked confidently away.

I had eventually entered the diner. I found the establishment was well set up. I quickly found myself a table by a window that ran floor to ceiling. Sitting myself comfortably in the cushioned chair I let out a long breath I hadn't realized I'd held back. I didn't have too long to wait before a tall familiar figure clad in a waiter's uniform greeted me with a broad smile. Andrew arched his eyebrows quizzically as his features took on an amused expression that dragged a reluctant grin from me. He sat down before me placing a large mug of freshly percolated black coffee, no sugar, before me. What's with all the disgusted looks I happen to think coffee is more efficient when it's strong and not tainted by sweetener. You people need to toughen up. Back to the story.

"I figured you'd order this." He said grinning while reclining in his chair.

"Ah …You know me too well. Aren't you supposed to be working?" I teased.

"The key word in that sentence being, 'supposed;' why don't you try serving ungratefully impatient people and their bratty hyperactive children all morning and tell me what I'm supposed to be doing. As long as I'm not caught I'm not 'supposed' to be doing anything

"Lazy bum," I quipped lightly in a jocular tone.

"A tired lazy bum," He retorted his lips tilted upwards in a smug smirk. "Shit! There she is!" he exclaimed unexpectedly as his voice made me jump and I quickly scanned the diner not knowing what to expect; I just stared at Andrew blankly.

"Who's there?" I asked in a curious tone.

"Serena and her luscious friends; she promised to introduce me to one of the hotties today. She thinks we'll hit it off pretty well." Andrew's eyes shone with an unearthly glow as he pondered the possibilities of such an introduction.

"Ok you me the Serena, as in your kid next door neighbor Serena! I didn't know you were a cradle snatcher!" I said flatly while taking a sip from my coffee mug.

"Oh come on Darien, they aren't that much younger than us, and I can definitely vouch for her. She's not a kid anymore, trust me!" Andrew assured me as he eyed off the girl behind me, I scoffed, seriously doubting if his annoying little next door neighbor could be anything other than a precocious little brat. Boy was I proven wrong!

"Hey Andrew, who's your friend?" inquired the familiar voice behind me, but try as I might, I just couldn't place where and when I'd heard it before.

I shrugged the feeling off and lifted my eyes to find myself face to face with the rude little girl who had earlier collided with me. My cheeks immediately flushed with anger. Of course, now everything made perfect sense. Annoying little neighbor next door equals clumsy annoying, yet quite tempting young woman. Funny how I didn't make these connections sooner.

"Don't tell me this jerk is your friend, Andrew?" She spat out disdainfully; rude little thing isn't she?

"Yup, my best friend to be exact, don't tell me your still holding that childhood grudge Sere?" Andrew inquired giving me a light pat on the shoulder, boosting my confidence tenfold.

"No, its not six years ago I'm talking about Andrew, though I can see he hasn't changed since. It's more like ten minutes ago when I accidentally bumped into him and he decided to act like a perverted jerk!" Serena said in an outraged tone.

"I WASN'T BEING PERVERTED AT ALL!" I retaliated. "I was merely checking to see if you had hurt yourself after the collision. You see where good intentions get you, Andrew? I'll tell you, you're berated and yelled at for no reason. This will be the last time I concern myself over anybody else's expense." I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, whatever, make up all the excuses you want, because it won't help you one bit. You were checking me out, and I do know when someone's checking me out!" she pointed out bluntly taking a seat next to Andrew while her friends joined our table. She quickly averted her eyes, turning her attention once again to Andrew.

"Andrew, allow me to introduce to you my friends Mina, Lita, Rei and Amy." She said in a very different tone than the one she had used to address me only moments ago.

I sat patiently while the girls greeted Andrew, as I waited for an introduction. When I received none I decided to take matters into my own hands.

"I'll introduce myself since this rude little girl refuses to acknowledge my presence. I'm Darien McKinnon, pleased to meet you four beautiful young ladies." I said in a relatively smooth tone making sure she took note of the fact I didn't include her in my complementary addressing. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing, for the expression on her face was truly priceless. Her face resembled a radish, and I found the whole situation thoroughly amusing. The encounter was oddly shocking, because I have never spoken so freely to women before, but this Serena girl seemed to ignite a passion within that I thought I'd locked away securely a long time ago. Despite myself; I couldn't help but react to everything she said to me.

"They don't want to meet scum like you!" she hissed.

"Speak for your self Serena!" The raven haired girl bellowed, much to my amusement. Serena's verbal onslaught intensified as did her ire.

"Hi, I'm Rei Casey and the pleasures all mine." She said in a sultry voice extending her hand and I gave it a firm business like shake. I know you were probably expecting me to stare intently into her eyes and penetrate her soul with my dark indigo orbs causing her entire body to shudder from the heat generated between us. Then I would ever so slowly, bring her small supple hand to my lips and plant a small, but promising kiss on the back of her hand. Sparks of electricity would pulse through her body causing her to melt like chocolate in the palm of my hand. Yes, expecting something along those lines, right? The truth is I'm not as suave or debonair as most of you might think me, but what can I say?

This Rei girl didn't seem to mind all that much though, as she seemed pretty intent to never let my captive hand go. I had to forcefully wrench it free; she threw me a disappointed look from under heavy eyelids. Apparently, I had some sort of effect on her; how I caused it I have no idea. My attention returned to the piqued blonde sitting before me. She glared menacingly at both of us, causing me to shift uncomfortably in my seat as her piercing stare cut through us like a well honed laser beam.

"First me, and now my friends; will you stop at nothing to get some ass," she seethed under her breath.

"Excuse me, but I never knew politeness was a covert means of getting into someone's pants. Thank you for the info." I countered flatly adding to her state of exasperation.

"You weren't being polite; you were being a sleaze!" she accused.

"Oh and how am I being a sleaze, squirt, by shaking someone's hand?" I said coldly.

"It's not only the way you shook her hand; it was the look you gave her. It was that 'you'd look some much better tossed across my bed,' look." She said narrowing her eyes.

"What?" I said half choking on a mouthful of coffee then belched to punctuate my feelings on her ludicrous statement. If anything; her friend was giving me the, 'I want to fuck you, look.'

"Serena! … He wasn't looking at me that way! Besides, even if he were I wouldn't mind." Rei added surreptitiously as she rested her hand upon my thigh.

I suddenly felt my eyes about jump out of their sockets as the result of this unexpected contact. This was extremely uncomfortable for an inexperienced guy like me. Yes, I said inexperienced; you can stop laughing now.

Abruptly, I felt an intense desire to extricate myself from this woman's obvious flirtations and Serena's attempts to lash out at me. Albeit, I'll admit some part of me still wanted to stay to be amused by the offended blonde, but that was until I felt Rei's touch. Enough was enough; I pressed my lips firmly together, and masked my emotions, pulled out my wallet and paid for the coffee, leaving Andrew a tip by way of thanks for his patients. I noticed Serena looking at me intently as if she were trying to read my thoughts; I narrowed my eyes and glared at her frostily.

"It was nice getting to know you young ladies, but I think I've had enough... coffee for today. Good day!" I said roughly pushing Rei's hand away. Serena's expressive eyes revealed the guilt she felt at that moment as the realization struck her that it was Rei, not I who was doing a 'coming onto' number. I simply shrugged it off, and left the diner with no intentions of seeing any of those brats again, damn kids…

Not a minute later, I heard somebody call my name. I stopped and a feeling of resignation swept over me. I sighed dejectedly, and turned only to have a golden thunderbolt crash into me, yet again. I was grateful for my quick reflexes saving us both from crashing to the pavement, as we had done before. I discovered to my utter amazement that I was holding a distraught Serena in my arms.

"You really should look where you're going kid." I said bluntly, albeit the case I was reluctant to let her go.

"It wasn't my fault; I didn't expect you to suddenly stop like that!" She countered pushing herself away from me.

"Forget it. I'm not in the mood for arguments, I've had enough for one day, and so would you please explain to me why you were calling my name." I asked calmly.

"I just wanted to apologize," she said timidly, causing my heart to skip a beat; I blame it on the hormones … what else could it be; damn hormones messing with the brain. I couldn't ignore how adorable she looked at that moment as her shyness presented a different side of her nature.

"Well then, let's hear it." I said in a gentler tone, than the ones I had used before. It was odd she was even effecting my tone in voice, everything about her effected me and the more it did the more fear kicked in. Mind you I am not afraid of her per say I am more afraid that she was already becoming something important in my life, I hardly knew her so it was mildly frightening.

"Aren't you going to apologize too?" She huffed crossing her arms over her chest childishly. I couldn't help myself; I loved how she flaunted her emotions for the whole world to see, and not giving a damn what people thought of her. I envied that about her. I wanted to, I really did want to laugh, smile and like Serena express my emotions, but my mind locked my feelings deep within my heart. I would always frown, and rarely smiled, even if I wanted to more than anything in the world.

"Fine," I spat venomously ready to attack if she provoked me. "If it will get you off my case, I'll comply. I'm sorry for insulting you, kid." I said guardedly.

"You're really quite shy, aren't you?" She inquired; her voice soft with concern taking me completely off guard. She had a knack for disarming me.

"How do you figure that?" I asked in an astonished tone. No ones ever called me shy before: hard-headed, stubborn, resentful, ungrateful, harsh… The list goes on trust me, but never have I been called shy…

"It's your face and your eyes. Your face expresses one thing while your eyes another. Even though you do a good job of putting on a mask; I could see the softness in your eyes when you looked at me just now, you really are sorry aren't you, Darien?" She said with absolute sincerity.

At this point I was beyond amazed by this petite girl; how on earth could she figure me out so well in such a short period of time? I mean, I would hardly call myself the shy type, just well guarded. I was furious because she could so easily read my emotions better than anybody else ever had. What infuriated me more than this was that half of me didn't mind at all.

"Well I'm sorry as well, I guess I was too quick to judge, and when Rei started hitting on you I just got angry I guess, for some reason. I can't really explain why, I just got angry." She said as her heart opened before me like a beautifully bound book. I was about to explain to her that she was jealous but my mouth said something completely different.

"I accept." I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me. I didn't want to accept an olive branch, I just wanted to rant and bicker with her, but my mouth spoke as if it were a separate entity refusing to listen to a god-damn thing my brain was telling it. I put it down to annoying hormones. Why the hell did they have to kick in at full speed right now? Why with her?

"I… I accept too." She stuttered slightly as a full blush grew upon her cheeks as she bowed her head to avoid eye contact with me.

"Do you have anything important to do right now?" 'What the hell are you doing Darien? You don't want to spend more time with her. What happened to all that logic?' I asked myself. Yet again I felt like a doll in the hands of a ventriloquist. I decided to just give up; there was no use fighting against the powerful forces unleashed within. She shook her head in response. "I'll walk you home if you'd like." And that was all it took. She looked up at me with a genuine smile on her face. From then on I was a 'goner' to her charms.

We started dating not long after that encounter, and I did my best to open up to her as much as possible. It was hard for me to express my feelings about her, but I tried my best. The months rolled by as we dated regularly; I would do anything and everything with in my power to see her beautiful face light up with her magical smile. I did all I could to make her utterly happy, and very soon my life depended on her. I lived and breathed her twenty four seven. Anybody with eyes could see I was clearly smitten with her.

I remember the day I proposed to her on her seventeenth birthday; it was the first romantic thing I had ever done for any girl I had been involved with in all my life. And if you've ever met me before there are very few romantic bones in my body, close to none.

I started the day by sending her seventeen red roses that had been especially delivered to her door that morning. I included a card wishing her a happy seventeenth birthday. I then surprised her by turning up at her school having prepared a picnic lunch, and presented her with the first of many presents. I bought her a cute white bunny; she adores bunnies so much. The smile that lit up her face caused my heart to do summersaults, whilst she held the soft toy under one arm and very expensive bottle of perfume might I add, in her free hand.

After this I had arranged a party for her at my apartment. I invited all her friends and family. If any of you knew me well; you'd know how much of an obsessive compulsive I am when it comes to my apartment some might call me a neat freak, but nonetheless I was more than happy to have the party at my place. She would truly appreciate the effort to make her day extra special. We enjoyed ourselves and everyone mingled and partook of the food and drink. Serena and I danced to the music and we danced solo just before Lita brought in the cake alight with seventeen silver candles. We sang happy birthday and everyone gave her their gifts; I waited until all the presents were placed on the table that had been expressly set aside for this purpose before presenting her with another large gift box. She squealed with delight when she held the white gown fashioned from quality silk against her lovely body. I had it especially made and imported from Japan for her prom. Might I also add this very beautiful gown made her look like an imperial goddess. After the party, I took her for a walk in our favorite park. I had pre-arranged for a specially trained swan to glide upon the mirror surface of the lake towards us with a white gold necklace around its neck. Hanging on the necklace was a diamond engagement ring, thanks to my father's credit card. I tried not to chuckle when she told me she thought the swan had stolen the necklace from some unlucky woman; Serena was about to seek its owner when I knelt before her on one knee and asked her to marry me.

At first I didn't know what to make of her reaction. I mean Serena didn't exactly answer as such; she simply collapsed into my arms. I carried my unconscious girlfriend, she hadn't agreed yet, all the way to my apartment before I got my answer; it was worth it in the end. You probably already know that she accepted since we're now married. We were engaged for twelve months before we were married. It was an elaborate wedding held two weeks after her eighteenth birthday. Serena had actually wanted us to wait another two years before marrying me, but I couldn't wait that long to have her as my bride. After a lot of persuasion; she finally agreed. Maybe she was right. Perhaps we were too young, because a year afterwards our problems had begun.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Married**

Our first year of marriage I'd like to remember as the Year of the blissful newly wed. Now, the reason I say this is, because the bliss of the marriage bed often gives way to a blossoming honeymoon period filled with wonder in that first sexual encounter after the bride's voluminous wedding gown falls to the floor as man and wife give themselves unreservedly to their passions. Of course, these wonderful moments of deep intimacy are strongest early in the marriage. However, this is common knowledge for those who enter a marriage contract, but if you happened to miss out on this important detail, I feel it my honorable duty to point it out to you. Now back to my story: Our lives had blended so wonderfully that year, and having consummated our marriage ... Yes, consummated it as in Serena had been the first woman I ... well, to put it bluntly, Serena was the first woman I'd ever made love to.

Serena was a breath of fresh air; in that first year with each passing day, she taught me things ... pleasurable things about the magic art of love and sex. We lived to please one another, and that seemed to be enough as during this time there were no apparent problems.

Serena and I had attended the same college; she took dance as her major, for she wanted to be a dance teacher more than anything else in the world. It had been her dream ever since she was a little girl, but for the most part I didn't think this a wise decision. Don't get me wrong; she was a splendid dancer, plenty of talent and dedication. Serena would stop at nothing to accomplish her goal once her mind was made up. However, in my opinion, I felt this to be a frivolous ambition for there were few opportunities in such a profession.

It would be a fine hobby, but for making a career of it, this was by my way of thinking a ludicrous notion. I felt she could do a lot better for herself in another field, but for the moment my mouth kept shut. I didn't want to cause any unnecessary friction between myself and my new bride. Especially since the marriage seemed to be progressing quite smoothly between us.

I believe our first marital problems emerged after I'd graduated from college and joined my father's practice. However, as I soon discovered, my dear old dad decided to cut off my allowance to encourage my financial independence. I was livid; he couldn't have picked a more difficult time for throwing me into the deep end. I found myself for the first time in my life financially on my own and with a wife to support. It might not have been so bad if he hadn't started me off at rock bottom in the firm. I had no option other than to work my way up through the ranks.

I spent almost every night committed far more to my work than my wife having locked myself away in my den punching numbers for a handful of clients I'd managed to secure. I wracked my brain to figure out ways to pay the ever mounting bills. Matters weren't helped by the fact I had my heart set on becoming full partner by year's end. I wanted this with the intension of giving Sere and I complete financial independence; I wanted her to never be in need of anything, because she would already have it. Whether she wished it to be spent on frivolous things such as expensive clothes and jewelry, or to help her pay for her tuition fees, I wanted her to depend on me for everything, call me a traditionalist, but I was her husband, and to my mind that meant my role in life was to support her, and never the other way round.

She didn't like the fact I wouldn't accept her money to help pay the bills. She accused me of being sexist and idealistic; she felt I was trying to change her into the stereotypical housewife. Serena resented the fact I would spend the majority of my free time working as opposed to paying enough attention to our marriage. She'd occasionally go out of her way to make a fabulous dinner for us in hopes I wouldn't be to busy to enjoy it with her and not as was my usual practice skip the meal or eat alone in the den in front of my computer. I know most of you are thinking of me as a cold hearted bastard, but I needed to get my work done, simple as that. I regretted neglecting her whenever I stopped long enough to listen to my conscience, but I had to stay focused, or all my hard work would have been in vain. I couldn't allow that to happen, so I simply convinced myself I'd make it up to her once I had become full partner, and in this at least I had accomplished.

By the time the year ended I'd earned enough money for my beautiful wife and me to move into a spacious condo. I tried desperately to make time for her, but I hadn't expected to be submerged in additional work. Serena's schedule as well was extremely hectic at this time; I eventually gave up trying to find various ways for us to spend more time together, yet again convincing myself this was due to our clashing lifestyles. I believed it would change once she had graduated from college, and then I'd make the effort to work on improving our relationship. Unfortunately nothing changed after her graduation. In fact, things only seemed to get worse between us and went down-hill from there.

Graduation brought with it more time for her to pick arguments with me. God help me I loved her in spite of it all, but she knew just how to push my buttons. The central argument between us revolved around the issue of children. I wanted her to get off the pill, but she refused because in her mind we weren't mentally prepared for the responsibility. How the hell can one be mentally prepared for parenthood? Women and their reasoning... Anyways we fought constantly over this subject; she wanted to set up her studio before even considering the idea of having children. She accused me of trying to change her into a 'trophy wife' and take away her independence.

What's the deal with the female mind's obsession with the expression, 'Trophy Wife?' In my opinion, Trophies are hard earned rewards for outstanding achievement in a given field.

I know exactly what your thinking, 'what a chauvinistic pig,' right? However, you need to see it from my point of view ... don't get me wrong, I love my wife dearly despite all that's happened between us. You see, Serena may be the most important person in my life, but I don't see how her mundane interests, misplaced opinions and her need to win every argument could be considered a 'reward' ... or a trophy? The word trophy and wife just don't belong together, I'm sorry but they just don't. Not a good comparison; should be banned from the English language.

The real explanation as to why I wanted to have children was because I wanted her to be happy with me, bind us together. I had the idea etched in my mind that if she carried my children, somehow everything would change for the better. She would love our children and love me for giving them to her, but on every single occasion I brought it up she wouldn't listen. In the end I relented and agreed to wait until she had established her precious dance studio. During construction Serena was happy, for each day I was greeted with warm smiles, and we made love more often. I truly believed our marriage had changed for the better, and would stay that way. Foolish dreams die hard, don't they?

Serena was so happy when she took the call from the project manager who told her that construction had finally concluded on the studio; it wasn't too long before she withdrew from me completely as if what we'd reclaimed was brushed aside in a single phone call. Serena put her whole heart into making that dance studio a hit by hiring the best people, organizing the curriculum and throwing herself into a full on promotional campaign. She had shut me out due to work commitments, for it would be hypocritical of me if I stood in her way when she was only doing as I had done in the beginning of our marriage, so I accepted the situation. I hoped once everything had settled down and the studio was a going concern, Serena might re-consider her position on starting a family.

Twelve months had passed after the studio's official opening; Serena had just celebrated her twenty fifth birthday. The studio was indeed a roaring success. I was forced to re-think my gloomy forecast concerning her choice of career. The studio with its healthy client base meant financial independence, and for this reason, I thought it a good time to broach the subject of children with my loving wife.

To say she took a tantrum put it mildly ... I think 'rampage' far more appropriate. She told me I was selfish and accused me of attempting to control her life. I chose that moment to tell her exactly what I thought of her dance career. If she felt she had the right to ridicule me, shouldn't I return the favor? Needless to say; she walked out on me and didn't come back for over a month. Andrew had contacted her; he told her I was an absolute wreck. The day Serena entered the condo; she found me in bed with over a dozen empty liquor bottles strewn across the floor while I cradled two full bottles in my arms as I lay in an unconscious state upon the bed.

It took a week for me to finally sober up after my bout of, shall we say ...incapacitation. Serena moved back in and after talking things through, we decided to drop the whole idea of children for the time being.

The next twelve months were relatively uneventful. We could have been far happier than we were at that stage of our lives; Serena was twenty six and I thirty one. I felt we were allowing the best years of our lives to pass by. Things should have been a lot better between us. However, as with all good things, I managed to screw it up as only I can.

Can I assume you're more than just a little curious as to how she arrived at her decision of a trial separation? To appreciate how this monumental decision came about, allow me to explain. It all took place to weeks back. 'Please reserve your opinions of me until you've at least read this chapter, and hear me out ... well, maybe to on the safe side judge me after this story.

Flashback

"Morning' love," I whispered groggily as I stared into Serena's eyes. She always had the tendency to wake before I did and snuggle close to me idly stroking my hair until I woke. She knew how much I hated to wake alone. I needed her there beside me and part of me believed she shared this need too.

"Morning... is that all you have to say?" She asked as her bright cerulean eyes shone in the morning sunlight. I wrapped my arms about her slim waist and cuddled up close to her warm body.

"Is there something I should be saying right now?" I asked nipping gently at her collarbone. I could sense I might be in a little trouble soon, so I decided to distract her. But this should be new, I know most men ca agree that once entering marriage you gain a sixth sense for these things always knowing when your about to get into a lot of trouble.

"Oh I get it, pretending to forget ... Okay, I'll play along, far be it from me to ruin your fun," Serena said with a slightly amused expression on her pretty face. I was thrown off guard and I wasn't sure what to say as her words had me completely baffled. 'What am I pretending to forget?' I asked myself as anxiety saturated my thoughts.

Suddenly, these concerns were banished when my lovely wife began to plant soft kisses along my jaw line and softly nibble my ear and sucked sensually upon my neck with her sweet lips. God she could always cause me to lose control; I couldn't resist those thrilling sensations coursing through my body, so I pinned her to the mattress and attacked her succulent lips with my hungry kisses. Unfortunately the moment was shattered when the phone rang; I could have screamed. I protested vigorously, and suggested if the call were important they'd surely leave a message or call back, but she was having none of it. I glowered at the shrilling beast dancing triumphantly upon the bedside table as she detached herself from my embrace. I sat dejected as she reached for the receiver.

I would have tried to seduce her into hanging up had I not known this would be an exercise in futility. Every time I tried to distract her from her calls in the past she'd play along for a moment and then the phone would win out. Serena would leave me with a very uncomfortable hard-on. I sometimes wonder if women had been instructed in the fine art of torturing their men ... they have to be high adepts, for they're so damn good at it. After a freezing cold shower, and a hot cup of coffee later, I was off to work after giving my garrulous wife a kiss goodbye.

I spent the morning interviewing several new clients; it wasn't until lunch that I remembered Serena's words. I couldn't let it be known I had actually forgotten whatever the hell I was supposed to remember.

'Dear readers ... notice how confused the days in my life can be.'

I of course, didn't want to get into trouble with my beloved meatball head. I had to do some fancy footwork, and put on my thinking cap. I assumed sending her a dozen roses ought to be enough to do the trick.

"Grace, would you please call the florists and have them deliver a dozen roses to my home to my wife Serena." I asked my secretary through the intercom.

"Certainly Mr. McKinnon ... and the card, what would you like the message to read?" she asked with a smile in her tone.

"Shit, hadn't thought that far. Have it say, 'to my lovely wife,' and nothing more," I replied quickly.

"Okay sir, I'll organize that for you straight away." I smiled smugly to myself satisfied I wouldn't be caught. I sat back in my high-backed leather chair and crossed my arms behind my head and sank into the soft black leather and let out a long sigh of relief and congratulated myself for my quick thinking. If only more men were quick thinkers like me they'd never have any trouble with their spouses.

The rest of the day I spent number-crunching with my father; the work schedule demanded we put in the necessary overtime to get the work finished in time. I assumed my wife wouldn't mind since I had already sent the flowers. By the time I returned home it was near midnight. I was exhausted and just wanted to slide into bed and sleep the weekend away. The moment I opened the door a series of 'unidentified flying objects' flew in my direction. I was struck in the chest and the blow almost knocked me off my feet, and then another hit me in almost the same place with equal force. I struggled to avoid as adroitly as possible the numerous objects thrown at me. I made my way towards the light switch almost believing the apartment was possessed, for my assailant had a supernatural aim and clear advantage in the dark.

To my surprise and disbelief it wasn't poltergeist activity ... it was my very angry wife. After I'd managed to turn on the lights; I stood face to face with Serena who held another large hardback book in her hand in attack position. We stood frozen to the spot for a few seconds that seemed more like an eternity. Serena's usually bright-blue eyes had darkened considerably; her cheeks flushed with anger. Every muscle in her petite body wound tight like a bomb timer set to explode. She stood like an avenger beside a coffee table laden with a pile of books. I was too afraid to ask what had brought her to this state, but I knew it was bad and I'd really done it this time. I took in my surroundings and realized everything had been trashed. Broken vases, glass and two antique tables had come to grief as an icy chill move through me. Yes indeed, asking her what I'd done to offend her would have meant certain death. I waited for her to break the silence.

"You ass hole! Where the hell were you?" She screamed not caring if our neighbors down stairs heard us.

"At work ... where else," realizing sarcasm was definitely not the way to go as I was rewarded with another flying book. I cursed profusely as it made contact with my forehead, and thanked my lucky stars it was only a paperback.

"Don't you dare get cheeky with me, Darien… You've no right! Did you honestly think a dozen roses would fool me, Darien? ... Do I look like some kind of idiot to you?" she shouted as tears brimmed in her beautiful eyes. My heart broke at the sight. I hated it when she cried; it was worse when I was responsible.

"Serena... Darling," I said opening my palms face up in a gesture of placation.

"Don't you Serena darling me, you forgot didn't you ... admit it. You forgot, Darien!" she bellowed staring at me; her eyes full of derision.

I lowered my head in submission and nodded weakly. I then braced myself for whatever came next be it books or cutting words, but nothing could have prepared me for what followed. My head shot up as I heard her choked back sobs as tears glided freely down her crimson cheeks.

"Our anniversary, Darien ... you forgot our anniversary." She whispered meekly before she turned and ran through the front door into the night. I stood there paralyzed with shock and guilt; I had never felt as low in my life as I had in that moment knowing the hurt I'd caused her... Serena had run out of my life.

The next day much to my surprise Serena returned to confront me once more; she screamed at me while I sat there and took it on the chin. I didn't bother defending myself, because I had absolutely no excuses. I deserved everything she had said about me; I held the naive notion in my head that once she had got this off her chest perhaps everything would be okay again. I believed she'd forgive me and I'd have an opportunity to make it up to her, but instead, she asked for the trial separation. Serena had explained she needed to evaluate our marriage and decide whether or not her future happiness lay with me or not, for on this last point she wasn't optimistic.

End flashback

Well, there you have it folks, and that's how things stand ... I'm alone and it's all my doing. I know you're probably looking for the nearest knife or heavy object to kill me with, but I assure you this won't be necessary ... mind you; I would rather save you all the trouble and do it myself. Enough of my self recrimination, for I intend to win her back. My main problem is how to do so. Am I really willing to sacrifice for her and is giving my all enough? ... I guess I'll never know until I make the effort.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Changes**

It's been a whole week since I decided to grace the office with my presence; I know what you're thinking. 'He was moping around feeling sorry for himself all that time. 'Oh he has so little dignity left.' As much as I would like to gloat about how wrong you all are in your summations; it pains me to admit that you're absolutely right. I would still be locked safely away within my nice cozy apartment drinking myself into a coma if it weren't for that insufferable best friend of mine, who has no pity for my current situation.

He pontificates on the dangers of what he calls, 'the dreaded drink' and threatens me with all manner of punishments to get me off my, as he so eloquently put it, 'off my lazy ass,' and get back to work. What the hell does he know anyways? I wasn't being lazy I was simply grieving. Whatever happened to the concept of compassion?

So with that philosophical load of self-justifying diatribe out the way, I turned to my brief case, slipped a bottle of pricey vodka inside and off to work I did go.

Okay, let me guess, you all want to know the answer to the burning question of my plan to win my wife back... honestly, I'd like to know that too. I hadn't planned on wasting my time by intoxicating myself; the evil bottle sat upon the table looking so goddamn alluring. As you can see it clearly wasn't my fault at all. Alcohol should and will always be blamed for any distractions that may occur in my life, as it's the ultimate scapegoat.

As I was saying, I walked into the office as if the last seven days had been cut from my life and thrown on the cutting room floor. I soon learnt first hand the fact that gossip had quickly spread throughout the hallowed offices of the firm much to my chagrin, for I distinctly heard the sounds of derisive whisperings as I passed by the array of desks filled with curious onlookers with as it seemed, nothing better to do with their time.

I thanked god I wasn't sober enough to fully understand what they were discussing. I strode quickly into my office without acknowledging my secretary, as I usually do, and closed the door. Though the intercom I curtly told her to hold my calls unless they were extremely urgent, then and only then was she to disturb me. I sat back in my comfortable chair and proceeded to submerge myself in a vodka-induced state of intoxication. If you haven't realized by now this manifestation of the bliss state never lasts too long in the real world.

A certain annoying blonde, who stalked into my office with a very unattractive scowl on his face, suddenly interrupted my emersion within my euphoric stupor.

He just glowered at me for a considerable length of time. I have to say, really, hasn't he the good grace and decorum to know I'm totally pre-occupied at the moment? I mean, can't he see I'm embarking upon a paralytic vision quest to explore my private fool's paradise? He was still waiting for my reaction to his grand, and may I add, rude invasion of my sacred space.

Well, let me tell you ... I reacted alright, and laughed so hard I fell to the floor and lost it ... allowing myself the luxury of indulging in a fit of uncontrollable mirth. I couldn't help myself; it was either my drunken stupor that disengaged the safety protocols in my head, or perhaps it was an ironic reaction to what poorly passed for my sorry existence.

Obviously, Andrew and I didn't quite see eye to eye at the time, because my laughter only made him increasingly irate. I honestly believed he'd lose it at any moment; he tried everything to shut me up. That was until Andrew picked up and threw my brand new pencil holder at me. I ask you, I'd grown quite attached to it too ... how could he! This ill mannered display from good old Andy would under normal circumstances bother me a great deal, but alas what was there to be done? Yet since it was customary for people to throw inanimate objects at me; it didn't strike me as such a big deal at all these days.

"You fucking jerk! I can't believe you can sit there and laugh after screwing up your marriage!" he scolded, but like I said, I was drunk and there is no use reasoning with an inebriated man.

I said the first thing that came into my incoherent mind.

"and your point is? ..." I sniggered as I picked myself off the floor and faced my best friend with a wide drunken smile plastered upon my face.

Don't worry my readers, you can put your bats and clubs back in your broom closet cause' I assure you he wiped it off my face with a jaw shattering punch that knocked me unconscious for more than an hour. I know your all sitting down smugly thinking I got what I deserved, and for the most part you're right. I deserved that blow and it not only brought me a killer headache; it brought me back to my senses.

I finally regained my consciousness I awoke to the sounds of my best friend making a mess of my office. At first, I assumed he was just taking out his anger by trashing my office knowing how much I would hate it, but then I looked to my right and discovered a large pile of liquor bottles I'd hidden away. He took it upon himself to rid me of them. There must have been a dozen or thereabouts of my prized black labeled vodka bottles lying on the floor beside me. I stared at him blankly for a while before deciding to sit up and talk to him ... like the civilized man I used to be. Wrong choice; the moment I tried to sit upright I felt pain hit me with the force of a hammer upon a nail, or better analogy two cars crashing straight into each other at a maximum velocity. I heard him chuckle righteously at my pitiful state. I hissed several profanities at him after finally managing to sit myself up straight.

"Are you in a civilized state of mind, or should I punch you out again?" Andrew quipped, is it just me or was he enjoying my suffering a little too much.

I groaned in response to his question. He chuckled once again at his inside joke cause' I see nothing funny in this, and sat next to me on the floor. Oh lucky me, he still had a sense of humor given the circumstances. But were was that sense of humor an hour ago before he knocked me to the ground

"Did you have to mess up my office like this?" I spat through clenched teeth.

As you can imagine, by this time I was a tad angry; this brought on by my throbbing skull and battered pride. Andrew's eyes widened a fraction as he surveyed his handy work; he had up-ended both my desk and bookshelves. He didn't bother with the filing cabinets; he just picked the locks with my envelope opener. Andrew then took a pace or two back and shoved his hands into his pockets looking at the documents strewn across the floor. After examining his masterpiece of office deconstruction; he nodded his approval.

"Yes, in deed I did." He said patting my back firmly in a friendly manner inadvertently aggravating a rather large bruise I'd acquired after he'd knocked me off my feet. I tried to suppress my yelp of pain to no avail, but I've never been one to feign an impervious response to agony. I'm not the cool calm hero type, who can laugh it off and simply smile. No not I!

"Man ... you must feel like shit? ... Probably craving an aspirin, am I right? Lucky for you I just happened to carry a bottle on me!" He said reaching inside his jacket pulling out the much-needed bottle of aspirin, but as I reached for it he teasingly pulled it away.

Oh, how I just wanted to beat him senseless at that moment; if it weren't for the pounding ache that shot through my battered body at that moment, I'd do just that.

"Unlucky for you, I don't pity you enough to give you any!" He hissed venomously placing the bottle back in his jacket.

My only interest was that little bottle; I was in dire need of its contents and would do anything to have it. So I did the only thing that ran through my mind at that moment.

I bawled, and sat there and buried my head in my hands blubbering like a baby in need of its mother's milk. I sobbed my heart out as all my frustrations and pain poured out of me. It wasn't just physical pain, but all my pent up emotional anguish that smashed through the watershed of tears I'd held back for years. For the life of me I couldn't bring myself to stop, and part of me didn't want to. I must have earned enough pity from Andrew, for he allowed me to release all the hurt and sorrow within my broken heart. He sat beside me and encased me in a brotherly embrace. We stayed like that until my tears had subsided.

I felt calmer, but still in pain. Andrew appreciated the emotional experience I'd undergone, and then handed me the bottle of aspirin he'd denied me moments before. I was tempted to jug down its contents, but decided against it, knowing it wouldn't help solve my problems. I took the required dose using my saliva to swallow them.

As I sat there waiting for the tablets to take effect; Andrew continued to look for the three last bottles of vodka I had stashed away in my office. He made it clear he still didn't trust me. Sure, it would have been easier to tell him where they were, but I opted to remain silent ... he made me cry, and he should pay for that I reasoned. He eventually gave up the search after finding two more bottles and sat next to me as we stared blankly at the pile of unopened vodka piled before us.

"Do you want to explain to me why I received a call from a lamenting Serena at three o'clock in the morning, or should I begin with the lecture?" He inquired opening one of 'my' liquor bottles and taking a mouthful.

Sighing dejectedly, I told him exactly what happened starting from early that morning to later that evening when she finally left me. Needless to say; he took another mouthful as an expression of his utter astonishment.

"Fuck, Darien ... I knew you were reckless and forgetful at times, but I never pictured you so utterly retarded before." He said shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know; I can't believe it slipped my mind. I don't know what to do, Andrew. I'm worried she actually might enjoy this separation and will leave me for good," I confided.

"Can you really blame her? ... Hey man ... you forgot your anniversary, and not just those fake anniversaries woman come up with to get free presents. You forgot the anniversary of your own wedding... don't you realize how important and sacred that is for women?" Andrew retorted arching an eyebrow as was his custom.

"No, I can't ... you're right. I've lost her, Andrew; she was the reason I woke each morning, just to her lovely face every day ... and I can't imagine living without that anymore makes my life feel empty. Hell it's already empty! I don't know how long I can take this solitude." I said as the word 'solitude' kept repeating itself in my head and it made me dizzy with the pathos it stirred up.

The pain fuelled my outrage, but I had no one to blame and I was sick and tired of blaming myself so that's why I lashed out. I snatched the bottle of liquor from Andrew's hand and threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered, comparing the sharps that shone magnificently in the light of the room drop simultaneously to the floor, with my heart. I felt a sense of satisfaction overwhelm me at that moment, but I couldn't exactly explain why. Perhaps it was the sight of thousands of shards of glass scattered around the already disheveled office. If you asked me why, I don't really know as something had clicked in my head and a strange sense of euphoria overtook me.

"God-damn her," I cursed as my scream echoed throughout the room.

Andrew was too shocked to say anything at that moment, and for that I was truly grateful. I just needed to let off some steam.

"This is all her god-damn fault; and you know! Solitude used to be my best friend before she came into my life. I didn't need anyone's company, and now I can't bare a second without her. I must be deluded, cause' I see her god-damn face everywhere, Andrew ... and I mean, everywhere ... She haunts me ... everything about her haunts me. I remember every detail; the subtle way her hips sway when she's walking, The way she smelled the minute she stepped out of the shower, the way she talks to me as if I were the only person on the planet that understood her... the what she can eat for a whole army, the way she licks her vanilla ice cream... Everything is etched into my brain. I want to be with her, cause' that's the only thing my muddled brain responds to. I hate feeling this god-damn weak, I can't bare facing the fact it was I who hurt her, and there's not a thing I can do to change the situation ... all I want is her forgiveness!" I blurted as I buried my face in my hands. Those scrambled thoughts have been wreaking havoc on my mental health, and subsequently my liver.

Everything was weighing itself down on me. It shocked me to discover one morning while gazing into my pale reflection that I had developed stress wrinkles despite my youth.

Andrew glowered at me; he never likes it when I rant in a pessimistic fashion, but I guess that's one of the many things I like about him. Andrew is implacably honest, especially with me. I appreciate all his twisted ways to bring me back to reality, and his knockout punch was a classic example as it brought with it the desired result. There's nothing like a good jab to the jaw to make you come to your senses and a complementary bump on the back of one's head. I hissed in pain as I wrapped my arms about my poor abused head.

"Pathetic, really pathetic man ... you're almost pitiable, but since I am your best friend, I'm not going to fall for it ... You're going to get off your ass, fix yourself up... a breath mint wouldn't hurt either, and then we're going to figure out a way to get Serena back. You deserve a lot of things, but having your wife leave you under those circumstances isn't one of them. It was a mistake on your part, a damned stupid mistake ... you're only human, Darien, even you can get it wrong as we all do from time to time. If you can make up for it somehow, there's no reason you can't earn her forgiveness," He explained in a consoling tone. I needed that support from him, and then noticed the smile forming upon his lips as he stepped back and examined my disheveled state and shook his head.

"I...I," I stammered trying to find the appropriate words to say.

The logical parts of my mind calmly argued for a dignified retreat and quit while I was ahead and forget any thought of reconciliation with Serena, that there was no possible way I could convince Serena to stay with me and make the marriage work. Fortunately for me, my emotional side was screaming 'Screw your pride and accept the help on offer idiot!' The voices in my head vied for supremacy until I came to my final decision.

"Thanks Andrew, I'll need all the help I can get!" I smiled and he nodded.

We didn't waste a second, for as soon as I agreed to accept his help; he ushered me out of my tousled office and started making calls via his cell phone.

He told me I needed a new look, something less tedious. He spent the rest of the day helping me sober up, which was a task in itself. The nausea didn't settle down until very early the next morning. He opted to crash at my place, and offered the excuse that it was too late to head home only to get an hour's sleep before returning to my apartment. He was right; it would have been pointless so we agreed. Andrew had assembled numerous stylists to come over to give me what he phrased as a 'two day make over party.' The first item on the agenda was my hair, which I kept rather long and combed back and close to the scalp with hair gel I wore that way to create what passed for me as a businessman look. They cut my beautiful hair; I loved that hair! Though I would never let on ... it pained me to see it all end up on the floor. Serena loved my hair and loved running her fingers through it; this was why I rarely had it cut. I felt as if I was losing more of her without it; it was a complete transformation as I discovered while they highlighted it to god knows what color. I must have looked odd sitting as if my eyes were wired shut, for I was too afraid to look at my reflection in the mirror.

I discovered much to my surprise I had to set aside my earlier preconceptions, for the outcome was actually quite pleasing. It wasn't half as bad as I had feared. Actually, I looked a lot better than ever before. The hairdresser had given me a layered cut, and I actually had bangs that floated before my eyes. I wouldn't really have to waste time sleeking back my hair each morning before work any longer. I could just run a comb through it and this would give me a slightly tousled and may I say, sexy look. My highlights would only be visible if I were under the sun, or bright light; it was a dark-blue tint that would stand out with a light glow in certain lighting and looked great.

I went to a solarium to get myself a decent tan, I am ghostly pale. Andrew was kind enough to come along with me for moral support. He too decided to tan up; it felt awkward walking into a spa and having Andrew there helped settle my nerves.

Later, when I took a look in the mirror at my appearance, to say I was pleased with the final outcome was an understatement. My ethereal pale skin was now tinted a rich peach tone.

The next day had been set aside for the purpose of creating a new wardrobe for me; Andrew had to virtually wrench my credit cards from my death like grip. It's not that I didn't have the money for this, for I had more than enough savings to pay for all my purchases, but I hated spending so much on clothes out of habit. The way I saw it; their purpose was to keep me warm and decent. Fashion was anathema to me and not a priority at all when there were better ways to spend my hard earned cash. Fine, I'm cheap, but can you blame me? I'm an accountant for Christ sake; I've seen people go bankrupt for squandering their riches on such frivolities. For me, 'looking good' I had always considered the pre-occupation of fools and indulgence of the vane.

Well, I certainly changed my entire life's philosophy after an hour in our mall, and with Andrew at the helm I couldn't go wrong. I can't remember the last time I wore jeans; he had me trying on everything from casual wear to formal. Needless to say; Andrew had to literally drag me from the store kicking and screaming ... what a turn-about. I even tried to bribe the guy to return to my newfound passion. I thought about how intoxicating shopping could be, and now understood how my customers had a cash flow problem, for shopping was an addiction... almost dangerous in my case.

After everything had been done, I took a long look in the mirror and nodded approvingly at my reflection. I wore a body hugging black T-shirt that accentuated my muscular build, and over this a plain white dress-shirt, unbuttoned to the base of my ribcage and the contrast looked fabulous with my faded jeans. I could barely recognize myself. I looked younger by ten years. Andrew decided we should celebrate my metamorphoses by going out on the town and showing off the 'new me,' and I reluctantly agreed. There was only one person I wished to impress, and that was Serena, but I decided to indulge Andrew since I owed him so much.

I was expecting drinks at a small bar of sorts, but what I got was a real surprise. Andrew had dragged me off to an exclusive uptown club. Let me explain something to you all about myself; I'm quite a composed and lay back guy , and I've never really appreciated large crowds, nor do I have a taste for insanely loud music. You know the kind of nightspots I'm talking about? The ones that leave you def for weeks afterwards; so clubs were definitely at the bottom of my list of places to go.

I grimaced as Andrew and I walked straight into the world of strobe lighting, loud techno and other clichés associated with such venues, you know it's just like him to have the connections to get us inside without waiting in line. Truth be it, I was astound grateful for I just wanted to get this night done and over with.

We waltzed right up to the bar; Andrew ordered himself a shot of tequila while ordering a coke on the rocks for yours truly ... he decided that due to previous events I should be the designated driver that evening. Andrew promptly downed his shot and retreated to the dance floor. Truth be told I did not really care much. I paid for this overly valued drink and I had every intention of finishing it.

I was minding my own business, drinking my coke contentedly when I felt a peculiar tapping on my shoulder. Curiosity getting the better of me, I turned expecting it to be Andrew, but before I knew what was happening I received something entirely inappropriate and unexpected for a married man. There was a young, I couldn't in all honesty call her a woman, for she was at the very least sixteen and she sat herself as easy as you like upon my lap.

"Hey sexy ... where have you been all my life?" she inquired trying on her best at smooth sultry voice, but in reality it sounded cluttered and slurred. Plus her breath reeked something awful from too much drinking; it was that bad I had to resist the urge to throw up. She was dressed in a short blue denim skirt and black silk halter neck top that left little to the imagination and her long black hair looked slightly disheveled though her make-up was impeccably applied.

"You haven't lived long enough to know, kid." I managed to maneuver her off my lap and into the seat next to mine, knowing full well she was in no state to stand on her own two feet, especially in high-heels. She was just a goddamn kid, why do I always find myself in these situations? I'm not usually this kind, but considering I am a responsible person, I took it upon myself to help this clearly precocious child. Yes, I know you're itching to pat me on the back right about now... I must admit I'm proud of myself.

"Hey kid, give me your home number so I can call your parents to come pick you up. You're clearly unable to get there on your own ... Don't worry; I'll explain to them that you fell on my lap as the result of your drunken stupor and tried to hit on me so they don't think me some kind of pedophile. See you've nothing to worry about!" I finished with a warm smile, something I don't do all that often, and should be taken advantage of.

"Are you fucking crazy man?" She lashed out at me... You see where good deeds get you! "You want to call my parents and tell them I'm pissed drunk and pick me up ... Do you want to get me killed?" she argued while trying not to lose her balance and topple off her stool.

"No, of course not, I just think this environment isn't suitable for some one your age, and in your condition," I reasoned feeling quite pleased with how I was handling this situation.

I believed a good lecture would help her realize the error of her ways.

"What's with young girls these days? These days all they want to do is grow up before their time, and look at your face; all that make-up. Have you ever heard of the concept of natural beauty? ... My wife... now she's a natural beauty and the type of woman that doesn't need all those artificial products to make her look presentable, and neither do you," I commented looking into her dilated bloodshot eyes.

"You have a wife?" She spat... no she literally spat in my face, unintentionally mind you, but spat none the less. Completely repulsed, I wiped my face clean.

"Yes, I have a wife," I responded scowling, and raised my left hand to show her my wedding ring.

She just sat there in a state of momentary shock for a few seconds as her eyes darted back and forth from my wedding band to my face.

"So are you going to allow me to call your parents now?" I asked reaching for my cell phone.

I never got the chance, for before I knew what hit me ... she slapped me, and my tartly little nymphet gave me the coldest glare she could manage considering the fact she was practically marinated in liquor. She carefully climbed off the stool, and pulled down the hem of her black denim mini-skirt and when she thought it safe to let go of the bar she spun. And I mean she spun on her heel and skulked away into the crowd. It was a damned miracle she didn't trip over her own feet and break her pretty little neck. She was muttering under her breath, I watched her leave ... hopefully far away from me.

So I sat there in a foul mood and sipping upon my beverage. Several women attempted to converse with me, but I held up my left hand as if it were a protective shield indicating my unavailability. That certainly did the trick, for they ran faster than a man with a heat seeking missile homing in on his ass. However, Andrew was another story entirely. The only time he came back was when he wanted a refill, and then he'd quickly retreat into the crowd upon the dance floor. I was about ready to call for a cab home when I heard a familiar voice call my name, I glanced behind me to find a very attractive looking raven-haired beauty... to pacify your thoughts, she didn't hold a candle to my beautiful Serena. It was Rei... the first thing that ran through my head was 'GOD DAMN IT I'M SCREWED!' Hissing under my breath I turned to face her and forced a smile. I distinctly heard her intake of breath, but I shrugged it off.

"Darien ..." she stammered. "Why, what, I mean how?" she said struggling to regain her composure as she fidgeted before me, unable to thread a coherent sentence together. I assumed she was about to accuse me of cheating on my dear wife. I had to make it clear I wasn't, but I was at a loss. I found myself in a compromising situation, especially considering my wife was on the verge of divorcing me.

"It's not what you're thinking... I'm here with Andrew, and he needed a designated driver for the night ... so I'm it ... He forced me to come along, I swear ... I don't even like clubs, and was just about to leave, I haven't been here all that long," I was getting desperate, but I realized she was tormenting me. She just stood there wide-eyed staring at me; it was so disconcerting I almost bit my nails in tension.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she starts laughing... women and their strange reactions! Freakin' confusing.

"I'm not gonna rag you out for being here Darien, just chill. I was just surprised. You've changed your look completely. I considered you attractive before, but now... you're drop dead gorgeous!" She said and sat on the stool next to mine.

I was completely taken by surprised as I found myself sitting next to one of my wife's best friends, who just told me I was 'drop dead gorgeous,' as naturally as if she were commenting on the weather. Rei was dressed in a mother-of-pearl evening dress with a long slit descending from a rounded hip revealing her sculptured leg and I had to admit that she looked stunning.

"Excuse me," was all I could manage at that moment, and I found myself laughing whole-heartedly at the thought.

"You're hot as hell, Dare! I don't know what brought this change in you, but I'm glad. You look great!" She said with sincerity.

I took note she wasn't sliding her hand up my thigh on this occasion; her hand rested upon my forearm ... what was she doing ... she shouldn't be touching me, AT ALL!

"Serena!" I proclaimed. "You think she'll like the new look?" I solicited withdrawing my arm in an effort to remove all contact only to unconsciously make it worse when her hand fell promptly upon my thigh is it me or is this oddly familiar.

My eyes were about to leap out of their sockets. She scoffed at the sound of Serena's name, and she looked towards the dance floor not bothering to remove her hand.

"Hey, you wanna dance?" She looked back at me with hopeful eyes.

"I don't think that would be appropriate," I said, but she just grabbed my hand and dragged me off my seat. I gave up, and decided it would be okay sharing one dance with her. After all ... she was Serena's friend, so what was the harm in it and what could happen, right. She picked a spot within the circle of people moving to the rhythmic pulsations of the latest dance tracks and prepared myself to dance with her. I offered my hand, but she ignored it completely.

What she was doing I don't believe could be described as dancing ... at least not the type I was familiar with; she pressed her... shapely ass to my crotch and started grinding her rounded hips. She then took my hands in hers and wrapped them about her slim waist and continued to press herself into me. I did the only thing I could and stood as taut as a drum skin.

"Relax Darien ... this is how people dance these days, there's nothing wrong with it!" she knew my thoughts as if she could read my mind and she purred like a cat in her efforts to assuage my fears. It definitely felt wrong for the only woman I had ever been intimately close to ... dance or lovemaking was Serena. Albeit Rei and I had clothes on, but I felt naked with her dancing with me like that. I glanced quickly around me and to my surprise noticed everyone was dancing in the same manner. Sighing dejectedly, I gave in. One dance wouldn't hurt, so I mildly swayed my hips in sync with hers.

A whole half hour had passed and I was still waiting for the goddamn song to finish. What the hell was this, for the track kept on and on ... how do people keep up with this. Rei had changed positions, and was now facing me. Then the thing I least expected happened. I felt her lips planted upon my neck, moving to my ear and towards my lips!

I was too shocked to do anything about it, and allowed her to continue this seductive activity. Finally, I regained my composure after realizing how awfully close her lips were to mine and I pushed her roughly away. Not bothering to give her a second glance, I turned on my heel and left her standing there alone on the dance floor. I had had enough! I was about to step onto the carpeted steps that would take me to my seat when I felt a firm hand on my arm; it wasn't difficult for me to guess who the perpetrator was.

"Let go, Rei," I hissed in an icy tone.

"Darien. I'm not sorry I don't regret my actions for a second, and won't apologize for trying to kiss you. I've wanted to do that for quite some time now ... Serena doesn't deserve you," she exclaimed looking at me with her dark yes, something that could never compare to Serena's brighter ones.

Where was all this coming from; she felt no shame for making a pass at her best friends husband... quite the little home wrecker, isn't she!

"Oh, and you do?" I quipped in a slightly amused tone that belied my annoyance.

It would be interesting to let her try to convince me she's far more alluring than my adorable and luscious wife! Whom I adore!

"The simple fact is; I appreciate you far more than she does," She pleaded desperately, her attempt to sell her virtues as a replacement for Serena only drove me towards Serena more than before if that were possible. I extricated myself from her possessive grip and proceeded to give her a dressing down, but not the undressing she desired.

"Look Rei, do yourself a favor and hold onto your remaining dignity, for Christ sake! Look at you; you're only belittling yourself for a man who won't ever have any feelings for you that go beyond strictly platonic. Whatever you're feeling towards me are unrequited. I love Serena with everything I've got ... my mind; body and soul belong to her alone, end of discussion. So let it go, and find someone who does find you sexually appealing because I can't, I'm sorry, but I see you only as Serena's friend ... nothing more!" I hollered at her.

She stood there before me with tears sliding down her cheeks. Part of me felt guilty for tearing strips off her, but I also felt a great sense of relief. Perhaps now she'd realize the futility of trying to win my heart. I didn't stick around to listen to any further protestations, I turned on my heel and left her standing there and moved swiftly towards the exit and called a cab. I was determined to win back my wife now more than ever. Even if it was the last thing I did, and little distractions like Rei weren't going to stop me.

So as they say at the Olympic Games: 'let the games begin' ... and I am going to win gold.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: An Awful Day**

I woke the next morning knowing I'd have one of those days. You do realize what I'm talking about, don't you? If you've no idea what I'm referring to, I will explain it for you. Its the kind of day that from the moment you get out of bed … You discover anything that can go wrong, usually will ... I think they call it 'Murphy's Law?' Well, no matter … now where was I? Oh yeah, I remember now … Its been my experience that nothing you do will make a scrap of difference when the tone of the day is hell bent on ruining all your plans and shattering any preconceived notions you thought possible … trust me, I know!

On this particular morning I suffered the first of many disasters that were to come my way that day. As fate would have it, I just happened to acquire the stiffest back known to man. The searing pain was so bad; I couldn't move my head without crying out with the pain. I spent almost half an hour in agony as I assiduously attempted to relax my taut limbs and drag myself to the bathroom for a much needed shower. Small detail I'd like to add; I absolutely hate cold showers, unless I'm forced into them for… shall we say, reasons I don't wish to go into right now. However, I digress … As I was saying, I detest cold showers at the best of times, and on this glorious morning the hot water ran out forcing me to take an Arctic shower.

Later, I dressed quickly and then strode into the kitchen to make myself a hot cup of black coffee as was my usual routine before leaving for work. I opened the pantry doors only to discover there was not a trace of coffee to be found in that useless kitchen. I slammed the pantry door shut in disgust, and uttered a blistering curse. I'd been so accustomed to Serena taking care of my breakfast and I've not quite managed to get used to it. I was honestly at sixes and sevens most mornings, butt at least I managed coffee and toast. It was a mess, for I wasn't used to doing the grocery shopping, and to be blunt, I was completely inept when it came to matters regarding domesticity. I mumbled a string of profanities before grabbing my briefcase and storming out of the apartment.

I resolved to go out of my way and stop by Andrew's restaurant. If I wanted that coffee badly enough, and believe me I did; it wouldn't be too much out of my way.

I know what you're thinking; Restaurant, Andrew owns a restaurant! Forgive me for not mentioning this little tidbit of information before as I've had a lot on my plate lately … Andrew's business enterprise is far more interesting than my caffeine withdrawal and somber state. Nevertheless, allow me to tell you about the arcade-diner where Andrew had been employed while in college.

Well, to cut a long story short; Andrew is its current owner. You see, its rather a strange twist of fate that landed the business in his lap. Andrew had done his fair share of ass-kissing and poured on the charm that resulted in his acquisition of the business. I must stress that it hadn't been the result of hard work or merit, but pure cunning. The owner had taken to Andrew like a son as he had no children of his own. I would have taken to Andrew with my boot if I could. So when the old guy croaked; Andrew inherited everything, and I mean the lot.

Who would have thought that old fart had all that money stashed away? Well anyways, Andrew was set for life and under Andrew's ministrations he'd expanded the business into a successful franchise. Might I add… some people are just born lucky I guess.

I parked and approached the diner. I entered the diner and looked for a seat. I wasn't too surprised to see Andrew sitting at a table eating breakfast. I stood and watched him as he surreptitiously directed his lecherous glances at his female employees. Without hesitation I walked towards his booth and calmly sat before him.

"Hey Darien, this is a surprise … what brings you here this early in the morning?" he inquired with mock enthusiasm. "I'd thought you hadn't time for such low rate diners filled to the brim with rowdy disconcerting children," he said putting on a smart-ass expression and winked at me.

"I don't actually, but since I figured I'm going to be late for work anyways, it doesn't really matter. Besides, I never said this place was low rate, I clearly stated it was a wonder the health inspector allowed you to keep the place open considering all its flaws … so what did you do to pass, bribe him?" I smirked condescendingly, amused at the appalled expression upon his face. I leant forward and reached for his coffee, but almost spat it out. I had forgotten Andrew had acquired a sweet tooth over the years. The contents of his cup would have been approximately fifty percent sugar if my taste buds served me right.

"Me … bribe! What a simply preposterous assumption, Darien. I mean … do you really believe I'm capable of such a malicious deed? I'm totally insulted!" he rebuked expecting me to believe his claims.

I remained silent and gave him a blank look. Once he realized I wouldn't take the bait; he continued to defend his actions.

"It wasn't a bribe, Darien … far from it, actually … lets say it was simply two people who had reached a common sense arrangement, beneficial to both parties," he said leaning upon his elbows and looking me square in the eyes.

"… and that's not a bribe?" I scoffed taking another sip of the ridiculously sweet substance in Andrew's cup. What can I say, I was desperate for caffeine. "Nice way of putting it, but a good attempt at ethical sanitation though," I retorted sardonically.

"You thought so?" he inquired tilting his head innocently, oblivious to the fact he had just ratted himself out.

"Yeah… of course, that was a grade A, bullshit performance," said I.

"Really, you think so! I put some actual thought into it this time," Andrew replied cockily as he snatched back his coffee.

I can't say I wasn't pleased, for the coffee was undrinkable. I decided to look at the breakfast menu conveniently placed upon the table in front of me. I would be late anyways; I relaxed and decided to take my sweet time getting to the office. Its been a long time since I've had an unscheduled breakfast prior to a business engagement. I was also interested in the new cook Andrew had taken on, and for me it would be a plus to try her out … she was reputed to be one of the best in town. I wondered why such a talented chef was doing working in a place like this. Don't get me wrong, Andrew's establishment isn't as bad as I make it out to be, but wouldn't a well known chef wish to work at a high class restaurant instead of a diner connected to an arcade?

I decided to stop analyzing everything and just place an order, anything would do. I called one of the waitresses over requesting three slices of toast, lightly buttered with the crust removed. I was fastidious about how my toast was prepared, and you've no idea how stressful it is to ensure staff at those eateries I occasionally frequent get it right. (Hey, I'm a simple guy!) I made sure my coffee was served just as I liked it, plain black coffee with no frills as it tastes good enough the way it is.

You guessed it; I have a well known chef preparing my breakfast and I order something that any idiot can do at home. I was promptly brought back to the present by Andrew's intense glare.

"Was it something I said?" I inquired, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.

"Yes! … you could treat my employees with a little more respect … Damn it, Dar' … you delivered a heavy lecture on the pour kid over a cup of coffee and your toast fetish … what's the big deal you tight ass?" Andrew snapped in a hushed tone not wishing to make a scene.

"I know, but you've no idea how many times they've screwed up my order. Waiters complicate everything when there's no need," I explained in a rational tone, but this went down like a lead balloon with Andrew. He threw back the dregs of his cold coffee and expressed his disapproval.

"Forgive me, Dar', I love you like a brother, but you've a huge foot jammed up your ass … You take a tantrum every time things don't go your way … if you ask me, that's the reason your marriage is on the rocks, because you're too full of yourself to see two inches past your nose to appreciate the better things in life," he chided in a menacing tone.

Wow… talk about constructive criticism. Andrew was hell bent on offering me a brutally honest assessment of my character, and what could I say? Unfortunately for him, I never took criticism at all well and wasn't about to start now.

"… and who are you to judge me and my relationship when you're never with a woman long enough to have one? All you do is jump from one whore to the next hoping to fill a void you can never satisfy, no matter how many you surround yourself with … then you act all high and mighty just because you've got a little money you've not earned. I've have issues I'll admit, but at least I'm doing the best I can to resolve them. You criticize others to compensate for your own shortcomings, convinced everyone else must be more screwed up than you… when you're in denial," I hissed.

Andrew's shocked expression said it all; he gaped at me with a look of astonishment and shook his head as if he'd been slapped. Okay, I was perhaps the first to give him such a dressing down, but that didn't detract from the truth of my statement.

(Hey, don't look at me like that; Andrew and I have always been completely honest with each other. We understood this meant sometimes our brutal honesty cut deeply, but we were prepared to accept that. In my opinion, I believe this to be the most authentic kind of friendship you can have. As the old saying goes … 'Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind,' and this was a policy we never compromised on, no matter what the circumstances. Our friendship was so much the better for it.)

"I… I do that," Andrew stuttered as he clamped his hands together as if he might fall apart at any moment.

"Just deal with your issues, man!" I replied no longer in the mood to pursue the matter.

I thanked the heavens as the waitress returned with my order, setting it before me. She spun on her heel to serve other customers. I glanced at Andrew before inspecting my meal; he seemed lost in thought.

(Gee, wonder why?)

I redirected my attention to my plate: Three perfectly cut slices of toast and black coffee. After eating my toast, finding it more than satisfying my expectations, I tried my coffee. Since the chef had followed my instructions with my toast, I expected no less with my coffee. Boy was I wrong; don't ask why or how this happened because it shall forever remain a mystery. Somehow a large cube of cheddar cheese found its way into my coffee. I could only assume some one was planning to assassinate me, for it almost choked me.

I couldn't believe my eyes; Andrew just stared at me blankly as I struggled to catch my breath. You'd think he'd not seen anyone choke before, for the blank look he conferred upon me gave the impression choking on his food and drink was a commonly accepted practice that didn't faze him in the slightest. In a fit of panic I fought desperately for air. Of course, I gesticulated trying to convey the fact I was obviously choking to death and touched my throat in a pointless attempt to get the message across.

Alas, I thought I would be rescued by one of my fellow patrons, for an elderly guy drew attention to my plight.

"Oh My God, I think that man is choking!" he shouted standing like a statue as if I could easily extricate myself from my fit of asphyxiation unaided.

Oh, how selfish of me, I ought to be grateful the kindly gentleman made the selfless effort to stand before the patrons and staff of this hallowed establishment and draw attention to my dilemma, I'm forgetting my manners aren't I? … I am such an ingrate. Normally I would be quite self effacing and contrite when humbled by the kindness of strangers, but I ask you … its kind of difficult to demonstrate an ethical sensibility while on the brink of culinary extermination. My, my… I must be doing a great job entertaining the locals, for look … I'm turning a deep shade of blue … They're mesmerized … they look so bovine don't they? … makes me want to make animal noises and feed them chaff and go … 'Moo!' … if only I weren't about to black out! Look at them, pathetic aren't they, just sitting there gawking as if they'd all the time in the world to help me out.

The next thing I knew, I felt a powerful painful whack upon my back. At last, I was to be saved … Oh, lucky me! My rescuer had finally awakened from there mesmerizing torpor and saved my sorry ass. I'd ordinarily be grateful for the assist, but for the excruciating pain. In a matter of seconds my windpipe was clear as the cheese flew from my mouth… hopefully landing in Andrew's food. I would have jumped for joy if it weren't for the blood issuing from my head. I became limp in the arms of my savior, who was kind enough to ease me back into my seat.

"Wow!" Andrew chuckled to himself and shook his head.

What kind of friend is he? I almost died, and he was amazed? If I could, I would have rung his scrawny neck.

"I don't remember you asking for cheese in your coffee," he said with an odd expression upon his face.

"That's because… I didn't" I retorted panting. "I should… sue you!"

"Should, could, but won't," he calmly countered sinking his teeth into an egg and bacon roll.

Yes, yet another misfortune had befallen me. The cheese hadn't fallen onto his plate … fantasies are crushed rather quickly aren't they?

"I'll… do it… I swear!" I screamed sounding like a toothless old tiger with little to show for himself before a far younger adversary as the result of my shortness of breath.

"You love me to much to sue me," He mocked sardonically. "Besides, you haven't as yet thanked your rescuer, who happens to be my chef," he said proudly.

I immediately spun around to get a good look at my good Samaritan, but you could have knocked me down with a feather … the walls came crashing down on me; it had to be a murder attempt that at the last possible moment the assassin was overcome by a fit of unbridled compassion … it truly is my lucky day! … Standing before me was none other than the tall stunningly beautiful, Lita.

You must remember Lita? She's amongst Serena's closest friends, and also the toughest. Lita and the girls grew up together and were inseparable. I had no doubt this woman, if she so desired, could with her little pinkie … kill me in an instant. Don't misunderstand me … I'm not a weak man, I work out, but Lita was no ordinary woman. She's a black belt in whatever the hell they call these weird foreign self-defense techniques, all the rage these days. Whatever it was called, she was quite adept. So forgive me if I come across as just a tad terrified of her.

"Lita! … You saved me!" I declared putting on my best false smile. Lita's eyes narrowed.

"Save it, Darien! … I would have left you to die if it weren't for the fact Serena would mourn your passing, and blame me for it. I'd rather not hear it," She said slapping my shoulder before returning to the kitchen.

I exhaled not aware I was holding my breath. Andrew burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter, and I felt the sharp report. (I'm not a violent individual, but I ask you … what would you do in my place?) I would have at that moment cheerfully killed him … I'd never felt the urge before as I had at that moment. If it weren't for his following statement, I probably would have jumped the table and bashed the crap out of him.

"I've got a plan," he declared taking me completely off guard.

He's lucky I'm curious by nature; otherwise his ass would have been truly kicked. "You know, Dar' … to get back Serena. Lucky for you she still considers me a good friend, despite the fact I'm loyal to you," he said smiling.

I scoffed and assumed a righteous tone.

(Loyal to me, my ass, he had watched me half choke to death as if it were a scene in a B-grade horror movie.)

"Enough already … listen up! … She's organizing a recital for a fund raising effort for one of her students, who was accepted into Julliard, but didn't have the money to attend. Anyways, I bought two tickets and made a hefty donation. By the way, here's your check book," he said nonchalantly.

My head nearly exploded. This weasel had my check book!

"You mean, you purchased two tickets and made a donation on my behalf? … You realize that's a felony?" I seethed through clenched teeth. "How much?" I asked looking him in the eye as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "How much of my money did you use, Andrew?" I demanded.

"Its not as if you're broke, Darien… I did this with you in mind my dear old friend," he said in an attempt to placate me.

"HOW MUCH!" I growled, almost on the edge of fury.

Andrew is quite skilled in diversionary tactics when it comes to avoiding a subject he'd rather not discuss.

"Oh, come on Darien… its for a good cause," He argued innocently.

"You mean getting my wife back?" I retorted.

"Well, I was talking about the girl going to Julliard, but yeah … that too, Darien," he admitted raising his hands in a gesture of openness.

Oh yes, he's cunning alright! … A little too cunning if you ask me.

"Anyways, as I was saying … we'll put in an appearance; it'll show Sere you actually care about something she feels passionately about. Dar' … this will be an opportunity for her to check out the hot new you; its the first step in demonstrating you're a changed man," he announced like a showman.

"Its when you come up with ideas like these I truly appreciate your friendship, Andrew," I said smiling sincerely.

I completely forgot about the check; this was a damn good plan and I wasn't about to let it pass by. All I really needed to do now was figure out what to wear. Yeah … tonight was going to be a very good night for me… a perfect opportunity to blow her mind and win her back.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hello again! For all the people who already have read the story it has been revised. It's all fresh and new and what not. If you care to see the changes re read if not just read this GREAT new chapter that has taken me yes FOREVER to prepare. But hey at least I got it done. Heeheee. Anyways for you enjoyment this is the new chapter of my story hope you enjoy as much as I did writing it. Also hugs to my editor. Much love from PR. **

**Chapter 5: Eventually**

The night of the recital was the best night of my life, for not only had I won back my wife's heart, I was overjoyed to discover my darling Serena was several months pregnant. We're expecting a child, who would have thought, and to top it all off, she's prepared to accept me back into her life. Serena's moving back into the apartment immediately. We're planning to purchase a home to accommodate a large family. Will it be a boy or girl; it's difficult to say. So to be fair we're hoping for twins.

You're happy for me readers, aren't you … Well you shouldn't be as its purely wishful thinking on my part, a load of bullshit. In truth, the recital wasn't exactly the best night of my life. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

I call upon you all as witnesses to this inauspicious event, Wednesday, February 1, 2005 the worst night of my natural born life. My darling Serena has no desire to take me back, and certainly won't be moving back into the apartment any time soon.

Oh, but not all of that opening statement was a complete lie. She is pregnant, though the paternity is questionable. She swears it's mine, but after meeting her new friend, who was slobbering all over her, I doubt her sincerity. Okay, so maybe he wasn't slobbering all over her, but I could see the intent to do so in his insipid gaze. Okay, I don't doubt the paternity of the child, I know Serena could never cheat on me, but she did keep the pregnancy from me. I doubt she would have told me if I'd not confronted her that night, it pissed me off no end that she would hide something of such importance from me. She knew exactly how I felt about secrecy and lies. We fought like cats and dogs, she knew full well by holding back on me like that it would only inflame my quick temper making the situation much worse than would otherwise be the case. In the end, they had to drag me out as they would a wild hyena.

A week later, I find myself at a local bar I often frequent (I've been coming here all week and I'm proudly known as a regular). Receiving some comfort from one of the only friends I had left, a companion that had stood by me through the toughest of times, vodka. Boy did we have some great times together. I am piss drunk and three seconds from getting my ass tossed out of the bar, but before that happens I'm sure you're all dieing to know the details regarding last weeks recital. For your sakes, I will relive that awful night for you … the things I do for my fans.

flash back

I was mildly surprised by all the people attending this event. We had to wait quite a while in the cold. I didn't think the cue would be that long. All the better for Serena I suppose. Anyways, here we were looking for some decent seats since all the good ones were taken by the early birds. Eventually we located two in the heart of the auditorium. The people in front were short of height and it was easy to see over their heads. By and large, it seemed the evening was going my way as we sat in comfortable silence waiting for the show to begin. I spent a short time surveying our surroundings as people continued to take the last few seats as the lights dimmed. I was quite bored by this time and fidgeting while keeping my eyes on the empty stage.

Suddenly, I felt as if the air was being sucked from my lungs. I shrank down in my seat in an effort to conceal myself. Andrew noticed my unusual behavior and he followed suit.

"Darien," He whispered. "Are we playing a game?"

Andrew's stupid question had me wondering if he'd been dropped several times on his thick skull when he was a baby. About that, I had no doubt.

"No, we're not playing a game, Drew, we're hiding from Serena's Goon squad," I replied ducking some more, pointing to the people I was referring to.

"Oh look Darien, its Mina, Lita, Rei, and Amy. Let's call them over!"

Andrew jumped to his feet and was about to scream their names when I dragged him roughly back into his seat smacking the back of his head.

"You idiot," I berated. "You're really thick sometimes Drew. I'm hiding from them for a reason. Allow me to explain so you can understand, besides the fact they all hate me and would kick my ass at the mere sight of me, they'll rat me out to Serena before I get a chance to confront her. Jesus Drew! I want to surprise her, remember?"

"Oh yeah," he replied apologetically feeling more than a little foolish.

We kept our heads low avoiding eye contact for a full ten minutes. Both Andrew and I were feeling quite uncomfortable in our contorted postures, and the cramps in my neck were excruciating. Drew was fairing no better as far as I could tell by the expression on his face.

"I'm hungry," he exclaimed, his irritation apparent.

"Then go get something to eat," I snapped from my self-inflicted vantage point to avoid discovery by the unsuspecting predators nearby.

"Aren't you hungry too, Darien? You look pale," he said as I rolled my eyes and groaned quietly to myself.

"I'm perfectly fine. If you're going to go, will you leave already?"

"Okay I'm going, but it will be a shame for Serena to see you in this sickly condition," Andrew was about to leave, but I couldn't let him go without chiding him for his last statement.

"What do you mean sickly?" I asked my tone a little too desperate for my liking.

"I'm only saying you look as if you haven't been eating well. Serena will see this and might be turned off, but if you insist you're fine and don't need food then I'll be on my way," he said as if making a winning move in a game of chess.

"No wait, I can't let her see me like this … okay get me something then, Andrew and move it already. I have to perk up before I see her," I conceded with a sigh.

"Well, if you insist… I'll require your wallet so I can pay your half," he said presenting his open palm. I quickly dug into my pocket and handed it to him. I must be some kind of gullible buffoon, for several minutes later Andrew returned with a bag full of snacks. I was 100 percent sure; he'd used my money to pay for everything. I was more surprised when I dared asked for my half, he handed me two granola bars telling me I ate far too much and should cut back. I almost strangled the pontificating little asshole; it was all a ploy to get me to give him money; fucking con artist.

I shrugged deciding to let it go since the show was about to start. I figured there was no point losing my temper with him when the damage was already done. I was comforted with the thought that I could plan my revenge later. I was pleasantly surprised to find the recital wasn't half-bad. Those kids sure could dance, especially the young girl for whom this benefit had been organized.

At the conclusion of the performance, my beloved Serena strode gracefully onto the stage and she astounded me. She graciously thanked everyone for coming and supporting such an important cause. She talked a little more about the evening and its aims, but in all honesty, I wasn't paying attention. All my brain could process at that moment was the fact Serena stood before me in the flesh for the first time in what had seemed to me an eternity. I felt like a hormonal teenager again when absolutely nothing made sense except for primal urges to be with the one I desired.

My heart dropped again when she walked off stage. I had to convince myself not to run after her. I had to be cool and collected. Publicly humiliating myself wouldn't help me win her back. I needed to approach her casually in private.

Andrew and I left our seats and proceeded to make our way back stage, Andrew being… Andrew was able to sneak us in with little difficulty. He'd suggested I wait in one of the dressing rooms and assured me he'd make sure Serena would be there, and he was true to his word. I didn't have to wait long before Serena walked into the room in a relaxed fashion. Obviously, she wasn't expecting me to be there, for as soon as she clapped those baby-blues on me she spun around and tried to run from the room. I'm proud to say my reflexes have never failed me, especially at that moment. As she extended her hand towards the door, I took her arm.

Awkward was the only way to describe that suspended moment. We stood frozen to the spot just staring at one another. I had completely forgotten all I rehearsed for this moment. I didn't know what to say or expect. Suddenly feeling vulnerable, my grip on her forearm loosened somewhat and she pulled away. I noticed her resentment towards me was evident in her body posture. I open my mouth to say something, anything would do, but my vocal cords refused to respond.

Finally, the silence got to her and she decided to break it. "Jesus Darien, stop gawking and tell me why you're here and what you want?" She spat.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled forcing myself to stare at a point on the wall behind her. Looking at her at that moment hurt more than I thought it would, her tone cut deeper than the sharpest diamond edged blade.

"I came here to see you, I needed to see you," I managed.

"Well, that's all very well for you, but as you can see, I don't need to see you, Darien. I'm extremely busy at the moment so if that's it then you've just wasted your precious time," She turned once more to leave, but I wouldn't allow that. I took her arm, this time a little more roughly than I intended and turned her to face me.

"My time is mine to waste as I see fit. You're my wife and I will see you whenever I wish," I said tersely.

"We're separated, Darien or have you forgotten? You no longer have the right to visit me whenever you please, so stop ignoring my wishes and just leave me alone," she said coldly.

"Darling, I'm not in the mood for your tantrums. The point is I'm here and it is time we talked and cleared up a few things. Don't you think it's time we stopped hiding from our problems and move forward and correct them?" I said drawing her towards the couch pulling her down beside me. I was panicking inside, for I've never been so forceful with her before. In the past, it had never been necessary and usually I'd wait until she decided to accept my apologies and cooled down.

She looked at me with a shocked expression within those dreamy azure eyes. I had to admit it scared me half to death not knowing what ran through that pretty head of hers.

"Well, your looks are certainly not the only thing that have changed," She said quietly, her jaw set and lips thinning.

"Well, something had to," I responded, my hand unconsciously moving towards her cheek. I tried to make contact, but she quickly evaded it. I could only sigh dejectedly and continue. "Serena, I love you and miss you that's all there is to it. I want you back. What do I have to do to convince you to come back? I promise never to forget our anniversary again darling. I can do better, I know I can."

"It's not just about the anniversary; it's everything, a combination of things rolled into one. The anniversary was just the last straw," she sighed shaking her head looking a little sad. "Darien, couldn't you feel it? We were drifting apart long before that stupid fight. We each want different things in life, and I can't continue to live in the shadows. I had always come in second best when it came to your work and I can't. I won't live that way again, it won't work. You say you've changed and things will be different, but they're empty and useless words as far as I'm concerned, Darien." Serena reasoned solemnly slouched with her head down unable to meet my eyes.

"This time it would be different, Serena," I told her with all the sincerity I could muster.

"NO!" Serena's head shot up almost hitting mine. "Whenever I acquiesce it's always different for you, but it never really is. You have to understand there is a difference between saying you've changed and actually changing Darien. And I can't let myself believe you anymore. Not with this new responsibility to consider," she said eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to maintain control of her emotions.

"Don't you think you have a responsibility to hear me out, Serena … I love you. I know you've accomplished what you've set out to do with your dancing career; it's not a new responsibility anymore. You've done enough, especially for that young girl who can now go to Julliard. Serena I think it is time we fix our relationship and move on," I told her trying to get through to her.

"It's not about dancing Darien!" She screamed jumping to her feet. I looked at her feeling utterly confused. I didn't understand a goddamn thing anymore. Why was it so hard for her to accept the fact I had changed and wanted her to give us a chance to work things out?

"I can't go back to you, Darien. I refuse to raise our child in that kind of environment. I won't let you ignore this baby the way you ignored me, nor shall I allow this child to feel the doubt I've always felt living with you. Darien, I have to be sure it will work. Until then, I can't be with you or allow myself to believe you. You see, it's no longer about what I might want or need. I have to think about this new life growing inside me as well," she said as I sat there stunned. My eyes doubled in size, for I stopped listening to her after she uttered the words 'our child.'

"You're pregnant," I whispered finally getting some feeling back into my numb body.

"Yes Darien, around two months pregnant," she replied in a whisper.

"Isn't that reason enough for us to fix things between us?" I stated matter-of-factly.

"Weren't you listening to me at all Darien?" She snapped as I flinched inwardly. "I told you I can't be sure of your sincerity and until I am, I can't give us another chance. I need to be sure what you're saying is true and not just pie in the sky. I have to know that our life will really change in a meaningful way and you'll be there for me, as I for you. Barging in here like this demanding we repair our relationship isn't going to work, it's going to take a lot of convincing before I'm prepared to give it one last try, Darien. I'm not sure if you'll be able to convince me."

"So you want me to prove it to you," I said rhetorically clinging to this thin lifeline.

"It's not just about proving yourself to me, but I want a real and heart-felt transformation and not a façade that dissolves into thin air, it has to be ever lasting, or I'm not interested." she said and I knew this would be make or break for us both and it all depended on me.

"Sooner or later I will have you back. We are meant to be Serena; you know it as well as me. I know you're not ready to throw your life away, our life away." I said looking her in the eye.

"Well, for your sake let's just hope your right," I almost smiled until our private moment was ruined by an impromptu intruder. A man with unusually pale hair came waltzing into the room. I couldn't tell if it was natural or died… 'Hmm peculiar,' I thought to myself.

"There you are Serena, I've been looking all over for you," He rushed to her side ignoring my presence completely. I noticed her expression soften at the mere sight of him. Oh, my blood was boiling at that moment. Who the hell was he to my wife? He needn't be looking for her; she was already spoken for, by me.

"I'm sorry Diamond, I was just having an important discussion with my husband," She replied evenly. The asshole finally noticed I was in the room further more she still labeled me as her husband, good sign right. He glared at me with eyes edged with contempt. I couldn't let him treat me like trash, and who was he to judge… fucking home-wrecker. My dark blue eyes narrowed as my irritation grew and ire seethed inside me.

"Yeah, a discussion I would like to continue if you wouldn't mind … would you please see yourself out," I spat crudely as if he were lower than scum in a polluted pond.

"Darien!" Serena shouted outraged. "No need to worry yourself Diamond, we've just finished, let's go." Serena took his arm and turned her back on me. I quickly tore them apart, my instincts to protect what was rightfully mine kicking in.

"You're not going anywhere with him," I shot back moving Serena so she stood behind me, but she wasn't having any of that. She just pushed me out of the way and rushed to Diamonds side.

"Darien, you have no control over who I associate with or where I go even within the institution of matrimony. My life is mine to live, my friends are mine to have," Her smugness crushing my patience. I pulled her into an embrace. Diamond appalled by my actions moved to take her from me, but my malevolent glare caused him to back down.

My lips pressed firmly against her ear. "I love you Serena, you know that, never forget it, promise me you'll never forget," I whispered for her ears only.

"I-I promise," Her voice tender as she stuttered slightly.

"Say you love me too and nothing comes between that," I begged my vulnerability almost shameful.

"Darien, things change," she said simply.

"You love me, say it!" my grip tightened and I was only mildly aware that I might be hurting her.

"I love you… nothing comes before that," She said tenderly as she embraced me offering what little comfort she could under the circumstances. I accepted it gratefully. Eventually she pulled back and stoned her emotions. I knew at that moment it was unlikely she'd be willing to give into her deeper feelings for me, "but we'll see if it's enough to help us last." She cut in loud enough for Diamond to hear. I felt her words stab me through the heart. I looked on as she left the room with Diamond. Ouch…

Suddenly, I felt the watershed of emotions I had thus far been able to keep in check smash their way through my resolve. I was at my lowest ebb, but not without hope. I felt desolate, yes, in pain, no doubt, but I held onto the sweetness I knew I had neglected for so long. I was a fool and knew it and it hit me like a powerful force. I could feel myself convulsing as hot stinging tears streamed down my cheeks as I sat holding my head in my hands and wept. What was it going to take to convince her we were meant to be together? I was willing to change … No, not willing, going to change. I knew for the first time in my life I would become a new person from that moment forth. Despite the fact, her words cut so deeply discouraging me, but as she walked out of that room not once looking back, she took a large portion of my strength with her. I was left inadequate and exposed and I loathed that feeling of insecurity.

With nothing left to do, I drifted off home. Gradually I would attempt to rebuild my dignity and self-esteem.

end flash back

Well, this brings us to where I am today. My pride remains somewhat tarnished, resolve crushed and confused as to where I go from here. I knew I couldn't let this ruin my life. I had to plan and prove myself the better man, the man that gets the girl in the end. My constant drunken stupor wasn't really helping. I had to stop moping, but this was so difficult for me to do.

'Yeah, yeah I hear you … Life's hard get a helmet, get over it and move on, but aren't I allowed a period of grieving? My wife is determined not to forgive me; she's pregnant and a little too close to her new friend for my liking. I think that deserves another drink, wouldn't you say? Jesus, put down the heavy objects, I get your point. Two drinks then! Hey, I am just kidding with you. You're right, time to get off my ass and back into the game. I'll make Serena fall back in love with me… you; my dear readers might even fall in love with me too. Hey, hey, hands off, I'm completely committed to Serena now and forever … wish me luck Yeah!


End file.
